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31.10.09

Life's getting bleak. It really sucks. I hate it when this happen. But why now? I sound so depress. To the one with higher power, please let me live life fully. What kind of shit am i living in right now? Every single day, it's the same old routine and i'm getting sick of it. Getting a job is like i'm waiting 1000 goddamn years for me to enter heaven. Calling this country as a fine country is totally bullshit.

I'm always broke. I really need a job so that i can have my own pocket money. Mum keeps on nagging at me to find a part-time job. Dad doesn't even care about me that much. But i'm glad they're not really that strict towards me nowadays, ever since my N's are over. Mum wants me to be independent. Yes, of course i wanna learn to be independent but from where am i going to start?
There's no border line. It's tough.

I'm having Bridging Programme in school starting this Monday. Can't wait. Seriously, i do miss school. Call me an asshole, i don't give a flying fvck. I wanna make it to sec 5, BADLY and i'm yearning to get good results. But base on what answers i wrote in all the papers makes me a person with a very low self-esteem. I screwed most part of it, but i'm hoping that God will help me. I did help myself in order to sustain good results. Good is good enough. Excellent is better. My early revolution is to suffer a lot, enjoy less in 2010, if i were to make it to sec 5.

Oh God, please make me a better person for i have gravely sinned in this pathetic world.

I want to have a good and simple life.
No stress, no depression, no anger in me, just a good life.
& that's all i could ask for. :'(

Syarm Hetf.♥

Hatred is beauty, 10/31/2009 05:31:00 PM.

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I am Nurul Syarmilla.
A.K.A Syarm HetfMilitia.
I'm turning 17 this 3rd August!
Jaymz Hetfield and Nergal are the most sexiest men alive. <3
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