23.3.09
I'm totally can't take it anymore.
Why why why?
It's making my situation from bad to worst.
I need a break. But fate don't allow me to do so.
I need someone who i can turn to and share my problems.
This might sound crazy but the one who i can turn to is my late cat, Ferra.
Whenever i told her about it, she'll company me to sleep with me for the whole night.
And i release a heavy relief from my heart.
(& mind you, don't think animals are stupid okay. They understand how we humans feel, just that they can't talk like us, can't think like us.)
But now, it's totally different. No more Ferra, no more happiness in this house without her.
She used to be our limelight in our family.
We adored her. We cared for her very very much.
But why! WHY MUST SHE SUFFERED FROM CANCER AND LET HER SUFFER WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE!
SHE'S INNOCENT! REALLY INNOCENT! SHE DON'T DESERVE THIS!
I DESERVE IT BETTER! WE DIDN'T MAKE HER SUFFER. INSTEAD, WE HUMANS SUFFER FROM THE FATE. I AM NOT BLAMING GOD OR TAQDEER, BUT MY CAT DON'T DESERVE TO DIE! SHE WAS MEANT TO LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS, HAVE FUN WITH MY FAMILY! AND ALL THESE HAPPY TRIPPY MOMENTS JUST ENDED LIKE THAT? SEEING HER STIFF BODY IS SUCH A PAIN IN MY HEART!
I know, she's happy in heaven, but i missed her a lot!
How i wish i could turn back time. I admit, i'm crying while blogging this.
Sorry, but i just can't help it.
I need her to company me.
My family has no time to listen to my problems or give me advice.
Yes, my future sis-in-law is the only one that i can share my probs, but it's not that i could do that everytime.
My sisters are away from me, my 2nd sis is currently in Dubai, my 3rd sis has her own family. She's handling her family probs and stuffs.
I can't share with them for sure. My 1st bro, well, he's married too. But he's not that understanding. And my 4th bro, works from day till night and we rarely talk to each other, even at home.
My parents, would only nag-i-nag-i-nag all the way.
Friends? I don't know if they're meant to be there for me. Only He knows it.
Now, i have to be independent. I can't depend on anybody. They themselves have their own problems.
Can i kill me? That's a bonus question.
Syarmilla Hetfield.♥
Why why why?
It's making my situation from bad to worst.
I need a break. But fate don't allow me to do so.
I need someone who i can turn to and share my problems.
This might sound crazy but the one who i can turn to is my late cat, Ferra.
Whenever i told her about it, she'll company me to sleep with me for the whole night.
And i release a heavy relief from my heart.
(& mind you, don't think animals are stupid okay. They understand how we humans feel, just that they can't talk like us, can't think like us.)
But now, it's totally different. No more Ferra, no more happiness in this house without her.
She used to be our limelight in our family.
We adored her. We cared for her very very much.
But why! WHY MUST SHE SUFFERED FROM CANCER AND LET HER SUFFER WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE!
SHE'S INNOCENT! REALLY INNOCENT! SHE DON'T DESERVE THIS!
I DESERVE IT BETTER! WE DIDN'T MAKE HER SUFFER. INSTEAD, WE HUMANS SUFFER FROM THE FATE. I AM NOT BLAMING GOD OR TAQDEER, BUT MY CAT DON'T DESERVE TO DIE! SHE WAS MEANT TO LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS, HAVE FUN WITH MY FAMILY! AND ALL THESE HAPPY TRIPPY MOMENTS JUST ENDED LIKE THAT? SEEING HER STIFF BODY IS SUCH A PAIN IN MY HEART!
I know, she's happy in heaven, but i missed her a lot!
How i wish i could turn back time. I admit, i'm crying while blogging this.
Sorry, but i just can't help it.
I need her to company me.
My family has no time to listen to my problems or give me advice.
Yes, my future sis-in-law is the only one that i can share my probs, but it's not that i could do that everytime.
My sisters are away from me, my 2nd sis is currently in Dubai, my 3rd sis has her own family. She's handling her family probs and stuffs.
I can't share with them for sure. My 1st bro, well, he's married too. But he's not that understanding. And my 4th bro, works from day till night and we rarely talk to each other, even at home.
My parents, would only nag-i-nag-i-nag all the way.
Friends? I don't know if they're meant to be there for me. Only He knows it.
Now, i have to be independent. I can't depend on anybody. They themselves have their own problems.
Can i kill me? That's a bonus question.
Syarmilla Hetfield.♥
Hatred is beauty, 3/23/2009 08:11:00 PM.
